A woman had attended four strangers’ weddings as an expected “wedding crasher,” and is sharing her reasons for doing so. In an essay for Business Insider, Joanna Smykowski explained how she learned that attending strangers’ weddings as a welcome guest was even possible — and why she’ll continue to do it for as long as she’s needed.
Smykowski, based in Queens, was engaged and planning her wedding when she joined a Facebook group where brides-to-be offer each other support. While scrolling, she came across a post by a bride who needed guests to fill a table at her wedding to meet the venue’s minimum requirement of attendees.
As Smykowski explained, many wedding venues require a minimum number of guests, and the couple still has to pay that price even if they can’t reach the minimum or people cancel. It results in wasted food and money.
“There was something freeing about not knowing anyone in the room but coming together for such a heartwarming event,” Smykowski wrote of attending the first strangers’ wedding with her then-fiancé. “I also liked spending time with my partner and new friends without feeling obligated to socialize with anyone else at the wedding.”
The first time she attended a wedding as a welcome crasher, she and her partner were seated at a table full of couples who didn’t know the bride. Smykowski and her partner were just there for a good time, but she recalled that one couple she met was considering the venue for their wedding and another had gotten married there and wanted to experience the venue as guests.
Smykowski said she’s gone to four weddings as a stranger to the bride and groom, but doesn’t ever tell any other wedding guests her secret, just in case the couple hasn’t told their loved ones they invited strangers.
“And although the brides say they don’t expect anything, I always give a gift,” she wrote. “I’d never show up to someone’s home without bringing something, and I treat weddings the same way.”
She also always introduces herself to the brides and has made friends at these weddings and kept in touch with many of the brides she’s supported.
Since attending her first wedding as a welcome “crasher” Smykowski has also joined a Facebook group called “Sisterhood of the Traveling Wedding Guest, Bridesmaid, or Surrogate Mom” for brides who need support on their big day or while planning it.
“I hope to continue ‘crashing weddings’ for many years to come. The joy that surrounds weddings energizes me, and I’ve met some awesome people along the way,” Smykowski wrote.